A Love for One's Own Creativity

If you haven't been able to tell already, I love cooking almost as much as I love writing.  I can't express enough how much creating something with my own mind or hands thrills me.  What heightens the pleasure I get from it, is the pleasure that others gain from my creations.  If I can see smiles on faces, second helpings--or thirds--being taken from the serving dishes, or hear pleadings for a recipe, I know I've earned my praise.

When someone reads a story of mine, and then gets upset when it ends or is incomplete, I get a little pleasure from that because it means that I've done a good job...in most cases.  Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't written enough, but then I remember as a reader, I am not always satisfied when a story ends.  

A recipe of a good writer includes knowing how to leave some of the story to the imagination.  A reader can often create an image of a character in their mind, but it can differ from another reader's.  As a writer, you never want to write every detail of your character's image or life, right down to their death.  There's a reason fairy tales end with "...and they lived happily ever after."  They knew that the reader didn't want to hear about the pain of the female character's pregnancy or that the main characters struggled to hold their love life together while juggling purpose and occupation.  They knew we didn't want to know that the male character suffered a long painful death, while his wife cried daily by his bedside, watching him wither away.  Fiction is an escape from the very real situations in life, so most want the happy endings; sometimes in more ways than one.  

We all want our happy endings, but the truth is, they aren't always.  What if Snow White had eaten that poison apple while the dwarves were away and the prince had been slain by the Queen's dragon form?  What if true love's first kiss couldn't have saved Snow?

Courtesy mamuvies.blogspot.com

I know...

No one likes to think about it.  

They like the fairytale ending.

Happily ever after is more pleasing to the mind.

I, however, am one of those readers that doesn't at all mind reading the good with the bad, because frankly it makes me feel better reading about someone else having those same struggles.  It makes me feel as though I am not alone in how I feel.  I like feeling connected to the characters in that way.  That is what I try to incorporate into my writing.

When it comes to my cooking, I desperately want that happy ending.  I am constantly abusing using my husband in a "guinea pig" fashion.  He doesn't always mind, but I know when I've done something truly good because he has a tell.  He dances while chewing.  It's both the funniest and most adorable thing I've ever witnessed in my life.  It's when I know that I've had that happy ending in my recipe's story.

My husband did a little secret shopping last week.  He knew I'd been wanting to try buying fresh, locally grown products.  I'd told him that I wanted to see if there was a marked difference between buying these products and the products from the store chains.  I am already a mostly "from scratch" cook, so I wanted to take it another step further.  I can say with 100% certainty that there is indeed a difference.  Not just in helping my neighbors with their livelihood, but the taste of those products I used that were fresh.

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.
They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.
~Elizabeth Berry

My wonderful, adoring, loving husband purchased green beans, carrots, asparagus, potatoes, onions, and garlic.  The difference was amazing! The colors were brighter and the taste seemed...cleaner?  I don't know quite how to describe it really.  What I can say is that I will be more than happy to purchase from my neighbors, weekly.  The reward was in the taste, and I won't soon forget it.

I know I had said at the top of the year that I wanted to experiment with food more this year.  So far I've made my own cranberry chutney/sauce, chicken soup, creamy cheese sauce, roasted picante salsa, and chicken stock.  All without the aid of a recipe and husband approved by chew-dancing.

When you finish a recipe and others take pleasure in it, you have to admit, you take pride in what you've done more than if you had stopped at the restaurant and picked up a pizza.  

When Old Projects Are New Again

I recently began to reacquaint myself with an old writing project of mine.  At first, I was scared to see how things were going to work out.  I didn't know if I'd be able to hear my characters in my head anymore.  I didn't know if I would be able to feel what they felt or see what they saw.

I worried that I wouldn't hear their voices talking to me anymore.  It's essential that I hear them.  I need this to be able to continue to work.

<If you didn't read my last post about this, go here. >

Then, my main character reminded me of just how funny he could be.  Truth is, he's a pain in the arse, but he is funny for the most part.  He's my way of getting my frustrations and aggression out of my system without outwardly hurting anyone in my real life.  He's my evil twin, so to speak.  I have a lot of love for this character and the further into the story I get, the more I realize how very much I have missed him.

I am thoroughly enjoying getting reacquainted with him and the others in his story.

He isn't the only one I think about, but he is my focus at the moment.

Alas, I have five or six other projects that are knocking on my window.  They all want attention, but I know I lack enough focus right now to work on them all.  I desperately want to finish this one work, so that I can say that I actually completed something.  I crave that sense of accomplishment.

Back to what I was saying...

I've missed him.  I find myself reading through his pages and laughing--or thwap him on the back of the head if the need presents itself.  It's as if I wasn't the one that wrote the story.  I know I did, because it's my print, but I'm experiencing it all over again as if it were the first time.  I know it's not the first time, because I can hear him saying how funny that moment was, or regretting a decision that was made.  I can hear the character telling me how different he'd wished certain events had transpired, and I find myself aching for him.

I know, I know...You're back to thinking , "Whoa!  She's looney!"  I wouldn't blame you.  I actual think I am sometimes, but like I said in my previous post, you kind of have to be.  If you think that I am completely off my rocker, let me leave you with this.  Are you familiar with Anne Rice?  The creator of Lestat from "Interview with a Vampire"?  She has said in interviews that Lestat would often converse with her while she was writing.  She a NY Times Best Selling Author.

Not so crazy anymore, am I?

Sorry to keep this so short, but I have to get back to my little guy.

He just told me not to call him that..."little," I mean.  He's so touchy!

Character Development

Which came first the author or the characters they've written about?

To be quite honest, I don't truly know.  I suppose it could be both ways.  Numerous authors have said that their stories came to them in a dream.  Is the dream technically supplying the characters or is it the author?  Since it's the author's mind, wouldn't it then be the author?

The mind boggles.

I was asked a question about my writing by one of my readers.  "Have your characters ever awaken you in the middle of the night and nagged at you?"

My answer?  Yes, yes they have.  Numerous times in fact.  It's funny actually.  I'll go to sleep thinking that I have ended my thoughts on a part of my story rather well, only to be awaken by a sort of rumbling in a dream.  Sometimes it's just an echo of a voice and other times, the persona I've imaged in my head, pops into my vision.  They can be such nags when they don't feel like they've been treated properly.  It can be so all-consuming that I have to get out of bed, grab my nearby notebook, and start jotting things down.  At times, it reverberates so violently through my mind that I end up writing chapters of rough information that I will undoubtedly tweak later in the day.

Now hold on! Don't go calling the guys in the white coats just yet.  I haven't gone mad.  I'm not insane, not that a little insanity isn't needed to be any good at telling a good story.  If you don't write, then you may know.

What you need to understand is that though people call writing a process, it's much, much more than that.  When you're writing, you have all these characters from your story, running around in your head.  Each one has their own personality.  Likes, dislikes.  They're constantly attempting to influence what you will write about them next.  No one wants to be put in a bad light, right?

You still think that sounds crazy?  Have you ever talked to yourself?  Chastised yourself for making a mistake...out loud?  Do you keep a journal where each entry begins with "Dear Diary" or some other greeting?

I'm no more crazy than you are.  A writer's characters are a way of getting their own thoughts, aggressions, aggravations, etcetera--I think you get the point--out.

In order to develop characters you need to know how people react in different situations.  Can you tell me that one author can fully know how to write about a killer and his feelings when he goes into a manic episode without truly thinking it through?  You have to imagine yourself in that situation.  Feel everything you can possibly feel without actually going through with the act yourself.  How is it that in another chapter, the writer goes through every feeling a clinically depressed girl has as she struggles with the decision of whether or not to commit suicide, while holding a knife to her wrist?  In still another chapter, that same author can write about the hope of true love, and how it begins as a small bud just stretching from the ground before blooming in the light of day.  Sure they can do research.  They can interview people that have actually experienced such things, but how do you get that exact emotion?  How do they make any reader feel every emotion from each and every one of those characters?

They've drawn you in, by telling you little details in passing.  Sure your experiencing what's happening with the characters in the moment, but you'll read a joke or someone will have a "remember when" moment.  You don't really see them, unless you pay very close attention.

My favorite books are the ones that make me feel what's happening.  I can conjure up an image of the character, feel what they're feeling, put myself in their place.  Those are the books I get involved in and hate when they end.

"Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader--not the fact that it is raining, 

but the feeling of being rained upon."
~E.L. Doctorow

You'd have to be slightly low on sanity in order to write about all the varying human emotions your characters are going to go through.  The good thing is, when writing about them it can keep you sane. I know...WEIRD!

Still don't understand how I'm sane?  Psychologists tell you to keep a journal so that you can analyze your thoughts when you are in a "normal state", or so that they can.  Can't storytelling be a confession of sorts?  A diary of a time in the past or how one wished how things had happened?  A good storyteller feels the emotion when they're writing it so that they can best express it to the reader.  If they're doing their job right, the reader can completely immerse themselves in the world presented.

I can admit that I don't mind the thought of being slightly insane.  If it makes me a better character developer, or writer/author, then I am all for it.  If I can draw my reader in and have them appreciate or love just one character, I'd be more than pleased.  I'd be ecstatic!

So...if I am insane, I don't want treatment.  My own personal character likes the thought of being able to "act out" through my writing.  If my sleep is interrupted by one of my characters/personas because they're angry with a decision I've made about their actions in a scene, I'm glad for it.

Hi, I'm insane.  I converse with myself and the people running around in my head.

Don't be scared; I don't bite.

Hard.


Where's my jacket?

When All Hope Seems Lost

I guess I am an odd duck.  The things I throw myself into at times could drive any other person mad.  Specifically my husband.

My genealogical research was stalled on a very important branch of the tree just two weeks ago.  The growth was stunted, because I was totally unable to find any information.  Instead of moving forward or staying in place, I decided to go back into the trunk and see if there was something I'd missed in the layers of bark.  Unfortunately, I only revealed to myself that I really had missed anything.  Every layer was in line and revealing every facet laid out in full perfect detail, save for one thing...I had chosen to ignore a tiny piece of information.

Why ignore it?

Because the email address for the data was over a decade old, and I honestly didn't believe that ANYONE would still have an AOL address.  I had seen this address numerous times in my research, and each time I noted the information that had been given in a forum and then moved past the contact without another thought.

I did this again just last week and decided to throw my hands up and resign myself to pray that someone would be able to find the information some day.  I moved away from the computer to break myself free for a few minutes before working on another branch.

I continued in my usually successful attempt to ignore this bit of information, only this time I felt like I was a mother with a child that desperately wanted my attention.  I was being poked, with my apron skirt being tugged on and a little voice kept asking me, "Why can't you talk to that one? Why? Why? Why?!  Come on, let's try it.  Please, can we? Huh? Please can't we just do it?!" Or like in Family Guy, Stewie nagging at Lois

You mothers, aunts, grandmothers, daycare givers and older sisters know exactly what I'm talking about--maybe even a few male counterparts.  There is always a little one doing just that to you for one reason or another.  And what do we do when this happens?  We give in and, just to shut them up, do as they ask.  So, I did just that.

I needed my brain to leave me alone about that contact.  I was 99.9% certain that there would be nothing coming from that contact.  Ever. Never going to happen.

Never. Say. "Never."

The very next morning there was a response to my email inquiry. I sent a timid and gentle reply back, thanking them for their time and that if they couldn't give me much more than what I already had, I would understand.

Two weeks later, that branches bark has strengthened.  Twigs have began to branch off to create even more beautiful branches have began to weave their way through and leaves have begun shine brightly.  The branch of that tree is once again blooming with information.

The smallest pebble on a mountain, may cause a landslide.
The gentlest of missteps can cause a small pile of snow to turn into an avalanche.
Never give up, never surrender.
When you believe things are hopeless, hang on to that sliver of hope that is teasingly dangling by a very thin and frayed piece of string.

All this and a small discussion on Facebook have increased my desire to write.  I have an idea, and it will require quite a bit of research, but I am ready for it.  I am welcoming the challenge that it may bring.  If I can succeed when all hope seemed lost, why couldn't I succeed when there is more than a glimmer of a chance at something?

Once you choose hope, anything is possible.

~Christopher Reeve

The Hardest Part in Reading

The more I read books lately, the more disappointed I become in parts of the publishing world.

I know that just about everyone talks of the Twilight Saga books, and some people consider them a work of art.  I saw many errors in those books.  The timeline was a bit off, there were multiple grammar errors, and can you say "Thesaurus?"  Goodness gracious!  The vocabulary in those books alone was egregious!  (See what I did there? I know how to use one too!)  Who knew teenagers knew what those words meant, let alone knew how to use them?

Most people began with the movies and know nothing of the books, but they really should read them.  The story in the books is much better.  You lose a lot in the movies which, looking back, could be a good thing for some chapters.  The movies did not do the books justice. The timeline in the movies was worse than that in print form.  Catherine Hardwicke's Twilight started the movie in the wrong month to begin with, and she added a warped situation that was never even mentioned in any of the books or Meyers' Midnight Sun.

And now...

There are writers out there doing the Self-publishing trip, but they really should have an excellent editor looking over their work.  They make me want to red-pen every mistake I find. There are missing words, grammar mistakes, word usage errors, point-of-view issues...I could go on, but won't. I don't like to point authors/writers out, that's not what this is about, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to find any book without errors in editing.

This is a story about sacrifice...
death... love... freedom.
This is a story about forever.

A part of me is wanting to take the current book I have, Sempre, and do a little red-penning.  It isn't nearly as bad as some of the others I've read, but there are a few errors here and there.  Sadly, I read this book in another form (fanfiction) before it was published, and I believe I liked it more then than I do now.  It was changed from a first person perspective--I understand why that was done--but you can see the writer's struggle with the transition.

The story itself is a good one; original in concept, good plot and good character development. The flow of the story is done well considering the amount of perspectives the author has to include, but the errors in the edit are unmistakeable.  I am hanging in there though, because I really do like this storyline.

Errors in editing bother me, probably more than they should, but I can't help but get frustrated when I come upon one.  It's not something I want to see in a published work--commercially or self-published.

If the errors in edits were just one or two here and there, okay, maybe I could let it go, but when we're talking roughly about three errors per chapter, things get a bit crazy.  It takes everything in me, not to pull my hair out.  I hate reading the same thing multiple times to try to figure out what the line is supposed to mean.  This is why it takes me so long to finish some of these books.

If I can really get into a book and enjoy myself, I can get through it in one to three days.  I have, at times, found myself taking over one week to get through a book.  Most say you should trade the book if it's taking you that long to read, but when you really want to see where the characters are going, you can't help but read on.

One such book, that I desperately tried to get through...Fifty Shades of Grey.  I cannot help but mention the trilogy because it drives me insane that it is getting so much hype.  Even HOLLYWOOD HYPE!  The wonderful thing is, I don't have to say much about it, because someone else out there felt about it the same way I do.  So, instead of giving my review or spoiling it for anyone on my blog, I shall just give you the link here.  Yes, there are spoilers in that blogger's review.  I don't particularly like her comments about James Cameron, but she is right about the book itself.

I can tell you that the sequels for Fifty Shades of Grey, don't improve upon the mistakes of the first.  They too were self-published and a former fan-fiction, but the storyline here lacks...feeling.  Much of the interaction between characters seemed robotic to me.  The book really didn't change much from its original form. I tolerated it as a fanfic because I had a few friends wanting to discuss it.  I didn't care for it then, and I don't particularly care for it now either.

Scarier still is that Vintage Books, a division of Random House Publishing, has picked up the trilogy and will continue to publish the pack.  One can only hope that they get an editor to fix the gross amount of errors, considering this statement comes from their website:

Vintage Books is the website for Vintage Publishing, a division of Random House which focuses on publishing quality literary fiction and non-fiction.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for all those future readers out there.

I have works of my own, but I would hope that I would be smart enough to be sure that all the edits were complete before I published.  I would also hope that if a publisher agreed to take on my little stories, that they'd take the time to be sure that it was edited properly.  Who knows, maybe there is no more room for that type of a profession.  If not, Lord help the art of language for it is dying just as quickly as it is being used.

My next book to read is Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  I want to read it before I see the movie.  The movie looks VERY interesting.

UPDATE: Because I wasn't very clear...you should read Sempre and blow off the Fifty Shades Trilogy.