A Love for One's Own Creativity

If you haven't been able to tell already, I love cooking almost as much as I love writing.  I can't express enough how much creating something with my own mind or hands thrills me.  What heightens the pleasure I get from it, is the pleasure that others gain from my creations.  If I can see smiles on faces, second helpings--or thirds--being taken from the serving dishes, or hear pleadings for a recipe, I know I've earned my praise.

When someone reads a story of mine, and then gets upset when it ends or is incomplete, I get a little pleasure from that because it means that I've done a good job...in most cases.  Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't written enough, but then I remember as a reader, I am not always satisfied when a story ends.  

A recipe of a good writer includes knowing how to leave some of the story to the imagination.  A reader can often create an image of a character in their mind, but it can differ from another reader's.  As a writer, you never want to write every detail of your character's image or life, right down to their death.  There's a reason fairy tales end with "...and they lived happily ever after."  They knew that the reader didn't want to hear about the pain of the female character's pregnancy or that the main characters struggled to hold their love life together while juggling purpose and occupation.  They knew we didn't want to know that the male character suffered a long painful death, while his wife cried daily by his bedside, watching him wither away.  Fiction is an escape from the very real situations in life, so most want the happy endings; sometimes in more ways than one.  

We all want our happy endings, but the truth is, they aren't always.  What if Snow White had eaten that poison apple while the dwarves were away and the prince had been slain by the Queen's dragon form?  What if true love's first kiss couldn't have saved Snow?

Courtesy mamuvies.blogspot.com

I know...

No one likes to think about it.  

They like the fairytale ending.

Happily ever after is more pleasing to the mind.

I, however, am one of those readers that doesn't at all mind reading the good with the bad, because frankly it makes me feel better reading about someone else having those same struggles.  It makes me feel as though I am not alone in how I feel.  I like feeling connected to the characters in that way.  That is what I try to incorporate into my writing.

When it comes to my cooking, I desperately want that happy ending.  I am constantly abusing using my husband in a "guinea pig" fashion.  He doesn't always mind, but I know when I've done something truly good because he has a tell.  He dances while chewing.  It's both the funniest and most adorable thing I've ever witnessed in my life.  It's when I know that I've had that happy ending in my recipe's story.

My husband did a little secret shopping last week.  He knew I'd been wanting to try buying fresh, locally grown products.  I'd told him that I wanted to see if there was a marked difference between buying these products and the products from the store chains.  I am already a mostly "from scratch" cook, so I wanted to take it another step further.  I can say with 100% certainty that there is indeed a difference.  Not just in helping my neighbors with their livelihood, but the taste of those products I used that were fresh.

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.
They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.
~Elizabeth Berry

My wonderful, adoring, loving husband purchased green beans, carrots, asparagus, potatoes, onions, and garlic.  The difference was amazing! The colors were brighter and the taste seemed...cleaner?  I don't know quite how to describe it really.  What I can say is that I will be more than happy to purchase from my neighbors, weekly.  The reward was in the taste, and I won't soon forget it.

I know I had said at the top of the year that I wanted to experiment with food more this year.  So far I've made my own cranberry chutney/sauce, chicken soup, creamy cheese sauce, roasted picante salsa, and chicken stock.  All without the aid of a recipe and husband approved by chew-dancing.

When you finish a recipe and others take pleasure in it, you have to admit, you take pride in what you've done more than if you had stopped at the restaurant and picked up a pizza.  

Weight and the Act of Fluctuation

"With fame, you know, you can read about yourself, somebody else's ideas about you, but what's important is how you feel about yourself--for survival and living day to day with what comes up."

~Marlyn Monroe

I don't like talking about weight.  Why?  Because it's depressing.  It's not a real number. The reason I say that is because weight's only consistency is that it fluctuates.  Whether you're thin, overweight, or obese it's always changing.

I know I gained weight last year. It wasn't much (twelve pounds), but I was already overweight to begin with.  Okay, let's be honest.  According to the BMI (Body Mass Index), I am obese. I know what my "ideal" weight is, but if I am to have muscle tone and not look sick, I'd rather be about ten to fifteen pounds higher than that.

Fat DOES NOT weigh more than muscle.  When people exercise to lose weight and get used to seeing the number drop when they step on that scale, when the number goes up again, a part of them gets discouraged and they want to give up.

Without consciously thinking about it, I gave up on focusing on lowering the fat content in my cooking.  I also decided to stick with soy milk since I haven't had any stomach issues since switching away from milk. It's also a decent enough creamer substitute, should I run out of the non-dairy liquid creamer--I hate the powdered crap.

Small change like this, and I've already lost six pounds this year.  It's odd.  I stopped caring about it and I'm dropping. It may not seem like much considering how much I really need to lose, but it's a step in the right direction and that is truly what matters.  It's a positive and that's what I should focus on.  I know once I pick up the pace on the exercise front, it'll drop quicker. Anyway...

I know all these diet gurus tell you to use non-fat this and non-fat that, but why?  What are you really getting out of it? More preservatives? More chemical balancing? I have some older cookbooks from the forties and fifties and none of them call for fat free anything.

A majority of women from the twenties through the seventies weren't overweight.  They were curvy or voluptuous.  They were sexy.  Don't get me wrong some were overweight, you can't completely escape the fat cell, but curvy was sexy...not fat.

Example: Marilyn Monroe - Curvy,  "Stacked",  Beautiful

She didn't have her ribs showing or poking through her clothing.  She had meat on her legs and arms.  She had a gentle puff to her cheeks.  She often said that people called her "the lady with shape"--well duh!  Now, by media standards...she's considered overweight.

The media, however, loves thin women.  By "thin" I'm talking bone thin.

Example: Keira Knightley--thin, but considered sexy.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Keira Knightley, and this picture is of her at her thinnest.  Her body type has her consistently thin, but at times like this picture--in my humble opinion--I think she's just too thin.  If your ribs are showing, that's not a good thing.  You look malnourished, sick.  Sick is not sexy--no matter how much make-up you put on.

I'm not advocating that being overweight is a good thing, it really isn't.  It makes our heart work harder, we have a hard time breathing, and it can cause skeletal issues.  What I am a believer in, however, is being a healthier me.  

Me...me...me...me...me!  What will make me happy?  Finding a way, of my choosing, to be a healthier me. 

Scratch

"Non-cooks think it's silly to invest two hours' work in two minutes' enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet."  ~Julia Child

I talked before about how I am a "from scratch" girl when it comes to cooking.  I completely and totally enjoy the feeling of satisfaction I get from making something so well that people can't stop talking about it--no matter the effort.

It's why I do Thanksgiving at my house every single year.  People are always wanting to help and I just can't do it.  I have to do it. I finally have a system of doing things so that the day of the feast, I actually have time to relax and mingle while things cook.

I say all this to get to this point...

I bought a cookbook put out by Taste of Home and Reader's Digest.  I expected to find from scratch recipes, and a lot of it is.  However, upon further inspection there are recipes in there calling for refrigerated doughs of various breads and certain pre-mixed spices.  WHAT?!

Thinking about it, yes, I get that not everyone likes to do things from scratch. But why not put the recipe for the dough and spice mixes somewhere else in the book?  Would that really be all that difficult?

I'll keep the book because there are quite a few recipes in there that I know the husband will appreciate and they speak to me.  I can't help but feel disappointed in these companies' choice to omit the full from scratch recipes.

I know some of you out there are staring at the screen and have that blank look, and others of you are probably rolling your eyes because you can't fathom why on earth I wouldn't want to make things easier on myself.

Let's look at it from a couple of different angles...

Ladies... 

A majority of girls begin planning their weddings from the time they are able to understand what a wedding is. Once you're engaged, you go into overdrive with all the detailing. There's the photographer, videographer, disc jockey or band, officiant, ceremony site, reception site, seating...well you get the idea.

My point is that you do all this planning and the ceremony lasts fifteen to thirty minutes.  The reception lasts three to six hours on average.  You've had months if not years of planning for a few hours of celebration.  Why not just run to a chapel or Justice of the Peace and then hang out with friends?

Gentlemen...

Your favorite athletes practice plays numerous days a week during their sport's regular season.  They watch footage from other games to study their opponents.  They train for hours upon hours in the off-season. They get paid the big bucks because they are such good athletes.  

If they're so good, then why do they need the practice, training, and studying?  Can't they just go out and do their job without having to deal with all the mess and risk injury during practice?

Kids, Teens, Adolescents...

Going to school and doing homework...such a pain, right?  You do tons of homework, study, do presentations, and take tests.  You go through three to five stages of education.  What are you doing all that for?  Because good grades can get you scholarships or grants.  Most importantly, the jobs that pay well, hire people with degrees and social skills.  

The effort I put out is nothing compared to the reward I receive.  Pride and personal satisfaction.

Inspiration in a Day's Activities

So...I'm trying to get into a routine of doing things. I guess you would call it, "setting a schedule," of sorts.  I have certain days that I complete certain household tasks, but I want to be sure to set aside some time to do some things for myself.

It's hard to do that. I know it sounds weird, because most people would be happy to have all the free time in the world to just do nothing.  I, on the other hand, don't mind keeping busy.  I think that's why, when I was in retail, I worked so hard.  It wasn't just the work ethic I was brought up with and taught in school.  I liked being BUSY.

If I sit for too long, I really get bored.  So bored in fact that I wind up taking a nap because if I'm not moving I feel like I should be sleeping.  Part of the reason I nap during the day could also be because I don't sleep well, when I should. I just can't shut the mind off.

What I really want to try to do is set a couple of days a week to just experiment with food. I've done it before.  I've created some good things by experimenting.  I have a chili that family and friends rave over and a cookie that is "demanded" every Christmas. I do get the occasional "Baby, that's a keeper", but I didn't write anything down because, honestly, I took a bunch of leftovers and made something just because I was inspired. What could I really have written down?

Take leftover spaghetti sauce, add Worcestershire sauce, garlic, cinnamon, brown sugar and cilantro. Saute diced onion. Cube leftover chicken and heat in skillet with onion. Pour liquid into pan, coating ingredients, and heat thoroughly in skillet. Serve over rice or breakfast potatoes with carrots, basil tomatoes or corn cob.

That's not a recipe, that's a fun time playing in the kitchen.  And yes...I have done that before. I know people think I'm crazy.  My husband sometimes thinks I'm a pseudo-genius, and that is what drives me.  

I'm a people-pleaser.  If I find that someone enjoys something I've made, I am sure to make it for them anytime they ask for it. If I wrote it down... 

My sister asks for Chicken Estufao everytime she comes home from college for a visit.  My father-in-law asks for my super secret chili recipe or my great-grandmother's Spanish rice or her nut cookies. Actually, my father-in-law's list seems to grow every year. LOL  The husband...he doesn't care so long as it's good.  

Here's the rub, where the dearest, sweet man whom I call "my husband" is concerned.  He's happy with boxed meals.  He doesn't mind frozen TV-dinners.  If it comes in a jar, it's spreadable on bread or a tortilla. If it came in a sealed plastic bag it's snacky delicious.  

What's wrong with all that?  Absolutely nothing.  Except for the fact that I am a "from scratch" kind of girl!  I know boxed/canned/frozen is how a lot of people were brought up--heck I was too--but I watched my grandmother and great-grandmother (the few times I actually saw them) create some magical dishes with a recipe and some fresh ingredients.  

I LOVE getting my hands dirty...in food.  It's cathartic for me.  If I'm angry, I can pound some poultry or nuts with a mallet. If I'm sad, making a sweet treat might help me to feel better when I see the look on the husband's face as he munches.  

If I'm feeling inspired, who knows what I'll accomplish? So that is what I am going to do for myself as often as I possibly can. Play in the little cave that is my kitchen.

Inspiration is the key to fulfillment!

"The greatest gift is a portion of thyself."   ~Ralph Waldo Emerson