The Communication Trap

Ever trap your spouse or significant other in a conversation that they have no way out of? I'm sure we all have a technique. Mine is during road trips. There's nowhere to hide.

**insert evil witch cackle here**

I used to be my husband's navigator. Then he purchased a GPS. He didn't much like the fact that I always knew where we were going and that he was at my mercy. Okay, it may not be for that reason, but it was comical because we always took the same route to the only place we really go on any road trip. Disneyland. After eleven plus years, you'd think it would be a "duh" at this point.

Back to the GPS...how many times have we gotten lost since? Numerous! She's - I say she, because the voice he has chosen is a British woman - even attempted to kill us by driving us into a brick wall. I think she's jealous. When she is wrong, and she is, I am there to navigate us back to where we need to be to get where we're going.

Disneyland: California Adventure

For the times when the husband doesn't need me to guide us to our destination, I really don't have anything to do except speak to him about various things. Some of you know what I'm getting to. It's the roadtrip trap.  He's got nowhere to go.  He has to talk about whatever subject I bring up, that is unless he brings up his own topic.

I know...it's wrong to do it, but seriously when do we have six hours to sit and discuss things that are happening in our lives?  By the time he calms down from his long day at work, he's ready to go to sleep.  I don't have the heart to try to bring up serious topics of conversation after he's had a rough day - which is almost always, since union negotiations began eight months ago.  Our weekends are usually filled with running this way and that to go to different family events or to complete a home project.

I try to justify my trapping him into a conversation by telling myself that if I just get the conversation out of the way, we can both relax and enjoy our little trip.

We always pack our "vacation" days with fun activities so there is, honestly, little relaxing being done. Sometimes our plans work out and other times they don't.  Those events become topic of conversation for the trip back.

This week...we're driving five and a half hours to see family and friends for Thanksgiving with a side trip to Disneyland.

Topic? I'll have to save the subject for a later post.

A Fight to Love

In August of 2006, our Saint Bernard passed in the middle of the night. My husband was heartbroken and completely devastated because she was his best buddy.  She slept when he slept - on the floor next to his side of the bed. When he woke, she'd be up and at his heel.  When he went to the shower, she'd wait patiently outside the door. When he went to work, she'd sleep by the front door, waiting for him to return.  He was her world and she was his.  Admittedly, I was envious of her at times for the attention she received, but she was such a lover.  She showed me love as well, but it wasn't the kind of devotion she had to my husband.  

In November of that same year, with much thought - and a bit of anguish - we decided that we were ready to bring a new love into our home. We debated on whether to adopt a boy or a girl. We settled on a girl so that we didn't have issues with our furniture and leg lifting.  We then debated puppy, young, or adult.  We settled on a puppy, that way we would have numerous years to spend making memories with them.  The final debate was size. We both looked at each other and decided small was the way to go.  We'd loved our Saint Bernard, but she took up quite a bit of space. Her bed of blankets took up a six-by-four foot space in two different rooms, and if I could have I would have given her her own room. 

I wanted to rescue rather than adopt from a breeder.  There are far too many abandoned pets that need to be loved. I started watching the rescue sites and the Humane Society.  Late in November there was a litter of Lhasa and in it, the cutest little girl pup!  I immediately pictured little pink bows in her hair behind her ears after being groomed.  I emailed her picture to my husband and he told me to go get her.  I called the Humane Society immediately to ask that they place her on hold for me, but they said that they already had an interested party playing with her.  

I asked what would happen to her if they decided against adoption and they said she'd be placed back in the kennel because no other inquiries had been made as yet. I gave them my name, called and asked my sister to go with me, and then set out to go get our new "baby." 

Alas, we were not meant to have her.  First, I went to the wrong facility.  When I did find the correct one, she had already gone with that other family.  I decided to go ahead and look around at the other dogs.  The shelter kennels were filled with dogs of every age. It eventually came time to pick up my nieces from school, so we left - sans pup. 

I went back with my nieces and let their mother have some free time to run errands since I'd dragged her with me.  We were walking past the outdoor kennels on our inside and there was this cute little dog wearing a t-shirt that was bedazzled with the word "spoiled" across the back. He wasn't even a foot tall, weighed about fourteen pounds, and as we walked by he followed us as best he could.  When we got inside, he met us at the end of the kennel and continued to watch us. My nieces fell in love with him!

I tried to walk away because he was the opposite of everything my husband and I had discussed.  The pup was a boy, not only a boy but an adult dog. He was four years old and though very puppy like in his actions, he was well on his way to being a full-fledged adult dog.

My husband met us at the shelter, and we began perusing all of the puppies.  One puppy in particular caught his eye. He was a terrier mix and very friendly. But, after watching him for about two minutes, decided against him. He'd had a pillow in the kennel with him and, I guess, decided to show us what he could do, and ripped the pillow apart, pulling out all of its innards. That started the conversation on whether or not we really wanted a puppy.  Which took us back to the adorable little "spoiled" Chihuahua.  He already had the name "Jack", which fit right along with us naming our animal after a Disney character (because, if you haven't already guessed it, we're Disneyphiles). 

We asked to spend a little time with him out in the play yard to see how he'd interact with the kids and us. Turned out that he was already a lap dog and loved my husband.  He was having a good time just being loved and pet by all.  It didn't take us long to decide that he was the one.  I told my husband that he had chosen us the moment we started the walk inside the building, so I'd thought it was pretty much a done deal the moment he liked the dog.

We began the adoption process.  They gave us his medical history which included neutering and surgeries for cherry eye in both eyes. We'd dealt with cherry eye before, so we knew what we were getting ourselves into. We asked that he be chipped because we knew that collars could be removed.  Our "counselor" disappeared and asked the vet tech to go ahead with the insertion.  He came back and we filled out our end of the paperwork.

A few minutes later, someone came up to our counselor and they both disappeared through the double doors. About ten minutes after that, our counselor came back and sat down, looking us both over. He told us that he didn't feel like they could adopt out the dog because he was now considered a vicious animal for biting the technician. He said that when she stuck the needle in Jack's neck, Jack turned and bit her hand. He hadn't been muzzled. 

My husband looked at the counselor and said, "We had the little happy Chihuahua. I didn't have a big menacing-looking dog."

Have you ever seen the size of those needles with the chip? They're huge! I can barely stand a butterfly needle being stuck in my arm, so I knew how he felt.

I asked what would happen to him and they said they'd put him down. I was not having that.  I told my husband that I didn't care, I wanted him. He bit because he got hurt, not because he was vicious. Our counselor offered us other options of course, but I didn't want another dog, I'd already fallen for this one.

We told him we needed a few moments but not to do anything with the dog.  We talked it over.  He was friendly with us and our nieces. He had been playful and very sweet.  There were no signs of viciousness at all.  We were not allowing them to put him down.

We told the counselor that we still wanted to adopt him.  He was concerned for the children; we let him know that we didn't have any.  He was concerned for other animals in the house; we only had one cat and knew that she could hold her own - she still had her claws.  

We had to sign a waiver, stating that we would not hold the Humane Society or anyone else at the shelter, responsible if he ever bit anyone.  We signed it gladly.  

When they brought him back out to us, he was walking along, happy-go-lucky like nothing ever happened. His tongue was hanging out, tail wagging, and just staring right at us.

We went out and spent about $200 on dog food, treats, a bed, some toys and a t-shirt. My husband wanted to get him a little leather jacket...not me, he did...but they were out.

Ooh! Vicious! NOT!

The following weekend, just days after he was deemed a vicious animal, we were at my father-in-law's Christmas party at his home.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a two year old toddler, pull Jack's tail and he just took it.  He didn't turn on her and snap.  He stood there, staring straight ahead, and let her do it. I went over to rescue him, but he never did a thing to attack her.

Vicious my arse!

Best buddies

Jack has even had pets! He still has one - the fluffy one - but she's turned into his toy fetcher/bath giver.  I don't think a vicious dog would play with a cat or allow them to bathe his ears and backside.

It's nearly six years later...

We've recently had a bit of a health scare with Jack.  He developed a bad cough.  We took him in when it first showed up in May, but his bloodwork only showed a thyroid issue and was negative for anything that could have been causing the cough.  After a few additional weeks, they decided to run the blood tests again and in June, he was diagnosed with Valley Fever.  

Here it is the middle of July and he still has the cough.  They told us that he will most likely be on medication for the rest of his life, depending on the severity of the illness.  If the cough didn't go away within six weeks, we'd run more tests at the three month mark.  We're nearing our eighth week, he's still got the cough.  We don't notice it, until we began to wean him off of the hydrocodone.  We won't be weaning again for another week.

His thyroid meds have helped him to drop about three pounds, so I no longer have my slightly chunky puppy.  We kind of miss the chunk, especially when just last weekend, I watched the newly pup of mine, climb the child gate that used to keep him penned up in the hall whenever we left the house.  I think we need a taller gate!

Our poor boy is losing his hair due to the side effects of the medication treating him for Valley Fever.  He's looking older and balder, but bless him, he still has that bouncy puppy attitude. 

Just admiring Daddy.

New Skin Care Regimen: Week in Review

Here we are Day 8 and though I may have slacked a bit, I still see a noticeable difference in my skin.  Considering the ingredients are really nothing special and inexpensive to boot, I have to say that I was surprised at having achieved such great success.

I realize that I didn't blog about days four through seven, but did you honestly wish to hear the same information over and over again? I didn't believe so.  

Admittedly, day four was a very busy day for me.  I was busy preparing for the weekend for my husband's celebration of the big 4-0.  I was cooking and cleaning throughout the day - which is another reason I didn't blog during that time - and was thoroughly exhausted each and every night.  I did manage to do my treatment that morning, but skipped the coconut oil moisturizer, because I honestly didn't have time to allow it to set in.  

Reminder: the coconut oil stays wet for much longer than your classic commercial moisturizers.

Day five, was busier still.  I had much more cooking and cleaning to do and there were about a dozen more visitors expected than the day before's count.  I was able to get phase one of the treatment completed - hot rag/honey/hot rag - before I realized what time it was and rushed off to finish my prep.  That means there was no scrub and no moisturizer.  I could have used my old moisturizer, but I didn't wish to detract from what the true results would have been.  By the end of the evening, I was too exhausted to fully clean up my house let alone clean my face.

Day six, I awoke to a new blemish.  It was just the one, but I obviously blamed my lack of completing the regimen.  I completed phase one, then did phase two - the scrub - but again didn't have much time to allow the moisturizing effects of the coconut oil to set in.

Day seven, I was a complete and utter slacker.  I blame the dreaded monthly cycle.  I had lost all motivation for everything because of it and just wished to rest.

Today, day eight, I am happy to report that although I missed a few steps in my week, I was able to garner better results with this "natural" treatment than I have in the past with some of the more expensive skin care regimens.

*  I don't like that the coconut oil stays wet for so long, but it's something I am willing to forgive for the wonderful result of clearer and softer skin.  Be sure to allow yourself enough time to let it set in otherwise, your placement of any cosmetic will be poorly set.

*  You do want to add a teensy amount of water to the scrub mixture to keep it from being too sticky.  You don't want to add too much, because it will destroy any real outcome the scrub could have provided.  You'll understand as you begin making it, and you'll figure out your own preference on the density.

*  Only make enough scrub for the single use or the day.  If you make more than what you need, the next time you go to use it, the mixture will be more like pudding.  You can't really exfoliate with a pudding mixture.

*  I found the scrub was pleasant for my knees, elbows, and legs.  If you're going to use it to treat these areas as well, I highly recommend you do it in the tub before a shower.  It's much easier to rinse off. :D

New Skin Care Regimen Day 3

I have to say, I am pleasantly surprised about the way the treatment is working.

I have had a small breakout, but I expected it because the lady time-of-the-month is coming.  I've also been working my ass arse off outside in the sweltering heat.  Those two "activities" should have brought on a full acne breakout, from forehead to neck.  Lucky for me only two small blemishes appeared on the left side of my chin with one making itself known on the right. That's it!

This is extremely unusual.  I usually have one on the eyebrow, one on the nose, a few by the ears and then my cheeks and chin seem to compete with each other to see who can bring out the most amount of blemishes in a four day period.

Okay world, what's going to happen now? No major breakout is nothing short of a miracle for me.  My acne is one of the main reasons I NEVER like getting pictures taken. I have scarring--which no one likes to look at--add the current acne issues and it's just downright unpleasant.  I guess I will know more over the next few days.

Another quick note:  I also noticed a slight decrease in pore size. This is also unexpected, but welcomed.  I'll watch that as we go along as well.

To treat my hands, until I can get a decent manicure, I went ahead and made a little extra of the scrub again this evening.  It seems I have one finger that just doesn't want to submit to treatment. It hasn't escaped my attention that it is my middle finger.

If all goes well, I may allow people take pictures of me in the next few weeks.  Then again, maybe not!

New Skin Care Regimen Day Two

I could have sworn that I posted this last night...

Day two of the skin regimen went a little better.  If you missed day one, you can find it here.  I had decided to go ahead with going through the treatment process before my shower, so it was much easier to remove the scrub from my face.  It was a much better feel than the last time when I had wiped it all off with a washcloth.  I think the plus with the washcloth, was that I felt I had a little extra dead skin removed from my face.  Whether or not that's true is unknown.  Although, my cheeks were very slightly raw, so I guess it's a bit of give and take on how one would want the treatment to progress.

I will admit one thing.  I made a bit too much of the scrub--okay, I tripled it!  I decided to go ahead and use it on my hands.  I massaged the scrub onto my hands and took a little extra time on my cuticles.  It felt very nice, and I believe my forever neglected nails sighed in relief.

The pros thus far are that I don't have to worry about a harsh stinging in my eyes, I don't smell like alcohol or  an indiscriminate chemical, and I do feel a definite difference in the softness of my skin.

The cons--I should say--con, is that the coconut oil doesn't quite sink into the skin fast enough.  I try not to touch my face, but I feel a strange wetness on my skin while walking around and can't help myself.  This also means that I cannot go to bed right away. There is a pro in that!  I get to finish up housework before going to bed. Yay!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

After I go through this process as described in the yahoo article, I may add almond dust to the exfoliating scrub once or twice a week to get the tough stuff removed.  

On to the next!