The Hardest Part in Reading

The more I read books lately, the more disappointed I become in parts of the publishing world.

I know that just about everyone talks of the Twilight Saga books, and some people consider them a work of art.  I saw many errors in those books.  The timeline was a bit off, there were multiple grammar errors, and can you say "Thesaurus?"  Goodness gracious!  The vocabulary in those books alone was egregious!  (See what I did there? I know how to use one too!)  Who knew teenagers knew what those words meant, let alone knew how to use them?

Most people began with the movies and know nothing of the books, but they really should read them.  The story in the books is much better.  You lose a lot in the movies which, looking back, could be a good thing for some chapters.  The movies did not do the books justice. The timeline in the movies was worse than that in print form.  Catherine Hardwicke's Twilight started the movie in the wrong month to begin with, and she added a warped situation that was never even mentioned in any of the books or Meyers' Midnight Sun.

And now...

There are writers out there doing the Self-publishing trip, but they really should have an excellent editor looking over their work.  They make me want to red-pen every mistake I find. There are missing words, grammar mistakes, word usage errors, point-of-view issues...I could go on, but won't. I don't like to point authors/writers out, that's not what this is about, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to find any book without errors in editing.

This is a story about sacrifice...
death... love... freedom.
This is a story about forever.

A part of me is wanting to take the current book I have, Sempre, and do a little red-penning.  It isn't nearly as bad as some of the others I've read, but there are a few errors here and there.  Sadly, I read this book in another form (fanfiction) before it was published, and I believe I liked it more then than I do now.  It was changed from a first person perspective--I understand why that was done--but you can see the writer's struggle with the transition.

The story itself is a good one; original in concept, good plot and good character development. The flow of the story is done well considering the amount of perspectives the author has to include, but the errors in the edit are unmistakeable.  I am hanging in there though, because I really do like this storyline.

Errors in editing bother me, probably more than they should, but I can't help but get frustrated when I come upon one.  It's not something I want to see in a published work--commercially or self-published.

If the errors in edits were just one or two here and there, okay, maybe I could let it go, but when we're talking roughly about three errors per chapter, things get a bit crazy.  It takes everything in me, not to pull my hair out.  I hate reading the same thing multiple times to try to figure out what the line is supposed to mean.  This is why it takes me so long to finish some of these books.

If I can really get into a book and enjoy myself, I can get through it in one to three days.  I have, at times, found myself taking over one week to get through a book.  Most say you should trade the book if it's taking you that long to read, but when you really want to see where the characters are going, you can't help but read on.

One such book, that I desperately tried to get through...Fifty Shades of Grey.  I cannot help but mention the trilogy because it drives me insane that it is getting so much hype.  Even HOLLYWOOD HYPE!  The wonderful thing is, I don't have to say much about it, because someone else out there felt about it the same way I do.  So, instead of giving my review or spoiling it for anyone on my blog, I shall just give you the link here.  Yes, there are spoilers in that blogger's review.  I don't particularly like her comments about James Cameron, but she is right about the book itself.

I can tell you that the sequels for Fifty Shades of Grey, don't improve upon the mistakes of the first.  They too were self-published and a former fan-fiction, but the storyline here lacks...feeling.  Much of the interaction between characters seemed robotic to me.  The book really didn't change much from its original form. I tolerated it as a fanfic because I had a few friends wanting to discuss it.  I didn't care for it then, and I don't particularly care for it now either.

Scarier still is that Vintage Books, a division of Random House Publishing, has picked up the trilogy and will continue to publish the pack.  One can only hope that they get an editor to fix the gross amount of errors, considering this statement comes from their website:

Vintage Books is the website for Vintage Publishing, a division of Random House which focuses on publishing quality literary fiction and non-fiction.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for all those future readers out there.

I have works of my own, but I would hope that I would be smart enough to be sure that all the edits were complete before I published.  I would also hope that if a publisher agreed to take on my little stories, that they'd take the time to be sure that it was edited properly.  Who knows, maybe there is no more room for that type of a profession.  If not, Lord help the art of language for it is dying just as quickly as it is being used.

My next book to read is Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.  I want to read it before I see the movie.  The movie looks VERY interesting.

UPDATE: Because I wasn't very clear...you should read Sempre and blow off the Fifty Shades Trilogy.

Dear Football, I Miss You.

Anyone else out there missing football season?!

I'm salivating!

I caught myself looking for ANY news on players past and present.  I want the draft to happen now, not next month! It's going to be an interesting year, I think.  So many good players are now free agents and some of those college boys coming up look pretty decent.

Speaking of old...I feel bad for Peyton Manning. I know he's shopping teams, but come on! The man had a semi-serious neck injury as well as continuous back pain. Didn't he have three surgeries for his neck injury?! He's a risk for sure.  He's also getting kind of up there for a player--he'll be thirty-six next week.  To his credit, he's really good for a man his age.

Manning has only been on my mind because of my husband and some of our family.  He's had a busy couple of weeks, working out with the 49ers, the Broncos, the Cardinals and the Titans.  He looked good, but people can look good when there is no pressure.  Cardinals aren't particularly known for having good protection for the QB, so I would see a lot of injuries in Manning's future if he were to go to the Cards.  Actually, I would say he definitely is NOT going Cardinals.

I actually miss the old days--about five years ago--when my husband and I had Cowboys vs. Skins bets going on.  It was the most fun.  Now he's with the Cardinals--most days.  I know he's torn when the Skins are up against the Cards.  He used to be a loyal Skins fan, but he swapped them out for the Cardinals to be closer to his dad and brother. I don't blame him, but I do have to give him crap for being a flipper.

I, on the other hand, have always been a Cowboy fan.  Don't ask me how I got that way, I honestly don't know.  I'm not from Texas, neither my dad nor my mom was from there.  I just always liked the Cowboys. I know, it's weird.  People are always teasing me about it, but I don't care.  I am a loyal Cowboys fan and always will be.  I'm going to stick to my guns. (LOL)

I think I got a little bit of relief from this little chat. WHEW!

Marriage Advice on the Sly

I was recently approached by someone asking me for my opinion on situations that often come up in a marriage or any relationship for that matter. I am no expert, but I have learned that I can't sweat the little things that happen.  Sometimes you just have to let the niggling annoyances go.

We all know how hard that is.  Men always say that it's us women who have a filing cabinet in our minds of everything they've ever done wrong.  They consider it an arsenal, I just consider it good memory.  Women aren't the only creatures that do this.  Yes, I am looking at the men...and the children for that matter.

You hear it in the stores as you're walking by a mom. "If you behave, I will get you something before we leave." The child often responds with, "You said that last time!"  Later on, you hear the kid wailing about the promise that was supposedly broken yet again. Mom is red-faced, rolling her eyes, pulling her hair out, and looking apologetic for the outburst of her darling little child.  It wasn't necessarily the promise that was broken, but the definition of "behave" wasn't clear enough for the kid to understand.  Or if it was, they have a short term memory.

I don't want to put the instance down because I like keeping things as anonymous as possible on here.  However, I can tell you what I told her.  Again, I am NOT an expert on marriage.

Marriage is a partnership.  You are to deal with incidents as they happen, together as a team.  If there is a large project needing done in the house, get everyone that lives in that house involved.

If you come across some items, though married, you don't feel you should be handling (i.e. work papers, parents' legal documents) set them in a pile for your life-mate to go through.  There's nothing that says you can't be neat and organized without being nosy.  It's what I do.  It's what I've been doing.

I've written before about clearing the clutter in my home.  When I came across things that were my husband's, I set them aside for him to go through.  He'd go through them and stick them back in the pile, which annoyed the heck out of me, but I let it go and made a mental note to re-stack those in his to-go-through pile the next go 'round.

He always says he'd already gone through it, and I'd remind him that he should find a home for it. Thus begins the cycle anew.  I know this will happen every time, and every time I am prepared for it. I just smile and look pretty.

Growing up I always heard marriage is a 50-50 deal.  Even the Christian books on marriage would say that.  I disagree whole-heartedly.  Marriage isn't a 50-50 partnership.  If you both aren't putting your whole selves into it every day, you're short-changing not only your partner but yourself. Why?  Because, what do we do as a species?  We stand back, cross our arms, and say "well, you didn't do that for me, so I'm not doing this for you."  Our inner child then sticks their tongue out and storms off in a temper tantrum.

You have to give your marriage your all or it's not going to last.  It isn't "his and hers" or "he said, she said".  It's "ours" and  "we".

I know first-hand how supremely frustrating it can be to spend all day, power-scrubbing your kitchen, only to have your partner or child come home and spill some breadcrumbs or soda and then walk off, leaving the mess for you to clean up.  Every time it happens, and I mean EVERY single time, I go to that person and ask them to please clean up after themselves.  I explain that I spent a good portion of my day, making sure that the kitchen was germ free and crumb free.  EVERY time I get the same response, "I didn't make a mess."  I just smile and they feel the urge to go and check.

Kill 'em with kindness.  My husband thinks my smile during those times looks sinister, and it probably does, but if I don't smile, I'd most likely scream.

I picture myself looking much like the bride in The Haunted Mansion, raising and lowering her axe as she says, "I do" or "until death, do us part".  If sinister gets the job done, sinister I shall be.

Marriage is hard work.  It's not magical--all unicorns and rainbows--it takes a lot of effort to work through your differences and combine your individual personalities.  It doesn't stop being work just because you've been married longer than most people can fathom.  You really need to pick your battles and once the battle has ended, by way of a satisfactory agreement for both parties, you go back to being a loving couple.  If you dwell on the incident for too long, then you're only prolonging your pain.  Where is the good in that?

Don't sweat it, let it go, and save yourself the grief.  You don't know how long you have with your loved ones.  Wouldn't your time be better spent enjoying life together instead of fighting every step of the way about things that really don't matter?

Marinate on that...

Friend or Foe?

There's an old saying which I believe came from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War":

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

This is so absolutely true, but what happens when you find out your friend was your enemy after all? 

This was a topic of conversation today.  A friend of mine found that one of her friends is a rather good actress when it comes to playing the friend part.  She'd thought this person to be her best friend.  Through the grapevine, she'd recently found that this was actually not the case.  The messenger relayed this sobering information to my friend by citing a particular instance between my friend and her supposed bestie.  She was devastated! I found myself not knowing what to say to her to help her feel better.  I couldn't even begin to guess what I would want anyone to say to me.  

After a few hours, a few more conversations, some relaxation and a shower, I finally realized some things. It's a shock to one's system, and they're not quite sure what to do with that information. They're hurt and may even be a bit on the defensive their first communiqué with that person.  With that first after-the-fact encounter, do they then discuss what has come to light or act like a duck and let it roll off their back?

This is why I don't have many friends. I have been burned by that very platitude more than once.  I've learned, as cynical as it may sound, that I can count on no one but myself.  If I am disappointed, I have myself to blame.  If I am saddened, I have no one to chastise except myself.  

There are those that say that no one can hurt you unless you allow them to.  I agree with this for the most part, but there are things beyond what little control we hold onto that can surprise the hell out of us.  We get broadsided by the shock of it.  The impact of it resonates through every bone of our body, shaking the very fiber of our being so much so that it cripples us for a time.

Why is it that what our best friends say to us wound us so deeply?  

When we say we have a best friend, we're saying that we have finally found that person--outside of our family--that we can trust with our inner most secrets.  We don't expect them to judge.  We fully expect that they will stand by our side, no matter the situation.  

Sadly, reality eventually hits for most of us, and we come to the realization that what we have is yet another hum-drum "friend"...not a best friend. 

People just have a lot of growing up to do.  I know this is true for me, but I have learned quite a bit from my harried past.  

For example, judging someone is not my job.  I may not appreciate things certain people do or the way they do them, but it isn't my place to tell them what they've done wrong.  I couldn't honestly say that in that moment I wouldn't have done the same.  Also, do I know for sure that the other way "I would have done things" would have been correct?

Opinions run amuck.  Everyone has an opinion.  It is our unfortunate job to listen to all of them.  We don't have to take them in, but if we don't allow them to be spoken, we are perceived as ignorant or uncooperative.  It just better to deal with it.

If, for whatever reason, someone steps in and tries to help you with your situation, however unwanted it may be, thank them.  You may still POLITELY turn them away, but thank them for their efforts nonetheless.

Don't sweat the small stuff.  They're never worth the amount of pain they cause when allowed to fester.

The Gift of Genealogy: Take Two

Recently, I was asked to help a relative locate someone whom they are a descendant of.  I love doing the research, so I was MORE than happy to oblige!  The moment I entered the name into Ancestry.com, the little leaves you always hear about in the commercials, began to spring.

It was mind-blowing!  All it took was a name and knowing two small facts about a set of parents and *POOF* everything began to appear.  It was great! I began finding more and more relatives as the night drew to a close. The relative left my home, and I continued to fill them in on my findings over the next few days.

Less than two weeks later, I found something that has kept me awake, mind wandering and pondering.  Never in my life would I have believed that I would find one of the most intriguing stories I'd ever set eyes on.  I can't stop researching the subject, because it makes me wonder what led to the events of the story and what happened to everyone involved.  I've been on this branch of the tree for nearly two weeks, and I know this relative is a bit overwhelmed with the amount of information I have been able to find.  I want to slow things down and not be so devastatingly forthcoming with the details.

The problem is once I get started, I just cannot stop. I'm like Walter Sherman (character on The Finder, a FOX TV Series starring Geoff Stults and Michael Clarke Duncan) in that way.  I feel like if I were to stop, it might physically hurt. I know I will lose sleep if I don't find everything there is to find about the subject.

Photo courtesy: Fox.com  -- Lettering added by "Writing Off into the Sunset" blog author.

"What happens when he can't find something? I will tell you. He will run himself ragged like a bloodhound." 

~The Finder: Episode 1: Pilot
Speaking Character: Isabel

That quote best describes how I am. I think that's why I like the show so much.  Walter Sherman, though fictional, makes me feel somewhat normal about my need to research a subject until I'm satisfied or can't find anything more.  I haven't found any ancestral link to why I am this way, I just am.

What researching these stories has done for me is a story in itself. I have learned valuable information on how to do even more research in other aspects of media to find ancestors and what stories may be connected to them.  In such a short time, they've become invaluable tidbits to help me with my own branch of the tree.

The sad part of this post is this: when people set on a journey into ancestral history, they don't expect to find anything truly scandalous in their family's past.  Unfortunately, it can happen. The important thing to remember is that it is in the past, not an actual part of the person one has become on their own.  What our ancestors may have done in the past can't inflict the pain on us now, that it may have inflicted on those immediately around them at the time. We can learn of these stories, take them in, and reconcile our feelings about them. If nothing else, we can learn from the mistakes they may have made.

The Kelly Clarkson/Jorgen Eloffson song "Stronger" is relevant to a point.

...What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter...

It's the same as any life lesson we have been made to deal with.

Accept what has happened. Learn from it. Move past it. Stand straighter with the knowledge you hold, because you are a better person for it. Go out there swinging with all your might, because the information can't hurt you. You are better for knowing, because you can choose your path.

Check Please! I Need Change Back.

Charge it!

"You Don't Want to Pay With a Credit Card?"

Yes... I was asked this over the weekend because I paid cash at a restaurant while I was out with the ladies.  Not by the girls mind you, but by the waiter!  I kid you not!  

He brought the credit receipts back before he brought my change. As a matter of fact, when he came to drop the others' receipts, he let me know that he wasn't sure if the restaurant had change!

Really?!  This was a chain restaurant!  You can't tell me that on a Friday night this business didn't know how to keep change on hand! If so, they need new management. It's Retail Finance 101.  Without the appropriate cash on hand and in reserve, you cannot operate your business to its potential.

So to make the situation even stranger, when he did come back he gave me a rounded dollar amount back. My bill was $21.79. I gave him $40. I got $19 back. Most people would say "shut the hell up, you got extra money back!"  While I completely understand this way of thinking, I was a little put off that A) he didn't count my change, B) everyone using that register was going to be in trouble for the short, especially if it had been done over and over again in the same night, and C) I was the problem child for paying cash!!

I began pondering whether or not we as a society were going in this direction.  Are we really using the plastic to pay for everything?

So, guess what I did.  I ran my own little test.

Objective: Discover whether others take issue with me for paying cash and see how the cash payment is handled.

Cash: The evil paper!

Action: Go out and pay cash at a minimum of two other establishments.
Results: Three tries, same results. They fumbled.

1.) They each had to recount the cash I had handed them--twice! 

2.) None of them knew how to count back change. (Start with the amount of the bill, loose coin to round up, then bills until you get to the amount originally given for payment.)

3.) Instead of service with a smile, which is how each had started, I got a look of disdain. I was yet again--times three--the problem child for paying cash.

Wow!  

That's all I can figure to say.  Wow!

What were to happen if the digital age got iced? Would anyone know what to do?

WAY back, we had to get driver's license as well.

I remember having to carbon credit cards to take payment (yes, I'm that old, so shush). 

One of the first things I was taught in retail, was how to count change back.  You don't count a person's change that you are giving them, you count from the purchase price to the amount paid.  Is it really that difficult?  

Am I the only odd one? 

Adventures in Babysitting

I LOVE my sister's daughters--my nieces! If I go without seeing them for too long, I get a little depressed.  She has four girls and a stepson. Two teenagers, a tween, and two toddlers. I know what you're thinking..."Holy crap!" It's a crazy life, and I help when and where I can.

{{quick note: Also have a brother-in-law with six kids--five boys and one preteen girl. I know...CRAZY}}

We don't have kids of our own, but thank the Heavens above, I have a husband that joins me in my Disneyphile freakness!  One of our guest rooms is a Disney room. Disney collectibles, Disney toys in the toybox, Disney books and magazines, Disney games, Disney bedding...You get the picture.  The kids love visiting all of our Mickeys and all of his friends. There's the Seven Dwarfs, various Stitches, Dumbo, NUMEROUS Mickeys, Mr Potato Head...again, you get the picture.

Sometimes we'll have the laptop in the room, playing a Disney movie, but the two of them get so engrossed in playing that it's more for the background noise.  It's also in case either of them get a little tired, then they can lay down and watch a movie and drift off into nappy time!

SIDE NOTE: I like nappy time. I can clean up and grab another cup of coffee to re-energize, because by then, I am exhausted! My energy boost will have only been in my system for two MAYBE three hours by this time.  "Five-Hour Energy" never met a toddler it could take, let alone two at once.

"Princess" as she likes to be referred to now--thanks to her Daddy and me--(I don't give names, for anonymity's sake) almost always wants to come to my house.  She actually asks to, which pleases me to no end.

I am the dreaded one that got her hooked on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  She didn't even know who Mickey Mouse was before I introduced her. LOL Mind you, she is only three.

We don't usually watch much television when I have her and her little sister, whom we shall refer to as Little Missy Thang. We play A LOT!  Dress up, toss the ball, build a castle, bean bag toss, etc., etc...

Today was a different animal. I had some things left undone from yesterday and if I didn't get them done, trouble would ensue. I digress.

I put on Lady and the Tramp in the Disney room, set them down with their morning fruit, and went about doing things. Not twenty minutes later, Princess comes running in holding Little Missy Thang's sippy-cup of water by the handle with the tips of two fingers. Apparently Little Missy Thang decided her cup needed a bath...in the toilet...while her sister was readying to use it. **facepalm**  It's a good thing I had cleaned it, but still... insert heeby-jeebies here with body convulsions.

As it turned out, getting things done was not an option. Little Missy Thang was very needy today. She asked to be picked up and then clung to my neck so that I had to sit with her. It's a rare thing that she does that with me, so how could I refuse? Princess decided she was tired too and she wanted Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on. That required moving out into the living room which Little Missy Thang was not at all happy about.  I got her to calm down by giving her big hugs and rocking her while humming.

Two hours later they were both passed out on the couch, and I had about a half hour of quiet time before Little Missy Thang woke up. Oddly enough, I missed the clinging and grouchiness, so I was a little relieved. We sat together and she had her afternoon snack.

When Princess woke up, she was not at all happy to be awake. She was more grouchy and whiny than she had been when she passed out.  We had a few tantrums and time-outs later on, but all in all it was a good day.

Like I said, I love those girls! I love being an auntie. I didn't get all of my things done, but the time spent with the littles was well worth the procrastination.

Why Can't People Just Leave It Be?

A funny thing happened on the way to blog...

Life!

So a lot has happened since I last blogged...obviously, since it has been well over a month since I last wrote. Much happiness and many frustrations.  I should have enough material to write about in the WEEKS to come.  Thus begins another entry...

--<--{@}-->--

It amazes me how some people always feel they have a solution to YOUR problem. I may be guilty of this also, I can admit that, but if someone tells me they're done, I'm done. No more probing or prodding, I just stop.  This is not the way of others and it gets a bit ridiculous.

I've told people over and over again that I am done. D.O.N.E. DONE! There's nothing I can do that won't cost me money that I really don't have.  Yet, numerous people just keep coming at me with a "solution". I've seen the solutions. I am a research geek! If it exists, I can find it.  I've done all the reading on the subject. Checked my financial resources and it just is not possible.

I've told people over and over that I have given in. I can't go any farther on the matter, so we're just living life as it has been handed to us.  I accept my role in life, and I am dealing with it to the best of my ability.  I sometimes crack under the pressure of someone else's announcement, but that is to be expected.

Have I completely confused you yet?

Let me ask this...
Have you ever wanted something so badly, that you've looked down every single avenue and all of their side streets and cracks in the walls that you could think of or find?  Gone to great lengths, even done some things that made you personally uncomfortable or scared?  Anything and everything just to get to where you so desperately want to be?

I have. I spent the better part of eight years, exhausting myself and my husband.  We finally sat down two years ago and discussed our next step. There was none. We decided to end the stress and accept it. We are fine with our decision, but our families just won't quit. If it were just one or two people, maybe I could deal, but it's coming from all sides and it's just not right.  We'd told EVERYONE. We are not interested in talking about the subject anymore.  Subject closed.  THE END.

Hey there Einstein! Why is it so difficult for you to get the picture?  The solution exists, yes, but it can not be done at this time. Which, given the time-frame we have to work with...

It's not happening. Sorry to disappoint, but can we please move on and cut the bull?